People all their lives are given choices, but at the end of their lives sometimes the choice is no longer up to them to make. My grandmother is very sick and has been the last year. She fell last year and broke her hip, because of that she lost her freedom of movement. She lost her freedom to come and go as she pleased, because of that she lost the will to live. For over a year now she has been up and down in her additude towards life. This past week they have diagnost her with dementia, her mind is gone but her body if fine. Because of her D.N.R. request we have decided not to put her through the effort of a feeding tube. She is essentially going to starve to death and this prospect is unfair to my mind she is my grandma.
I have to trust that god has a plan for her and our family. I have to trust my mother who is making all the decisions about her health care to make the best decisions for my grandmother and our family. I do trust them, but the thought of loosing another person in my life makes me sad. I am still hurting from the loss of my grandfather less than a year ago. Loosing them both is a milestone in any adults life. The thought of loss is scary if it has never happened, but then it does and you never wanna have to go through that again. The circle and cycle of life is never ending but sometimes you just wanna step outta that circle and gain some perspective. It is not possible but the hope that one day you will be able to cope with it all is still a far off dream.
I can relate so much to your post. My grandfather has kidney cancer. We just got word yesterday that the cancer is spreadind. We don't think he will have long to live. I lost my grandmother several years ago to cancer as well. It is never easy when you know you are coming to the end of a family members life. However, we must remember that it is not death to die for those who are in Christ. I will be praying for you and your family as we both go through this journey at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your pain. I lost my father to cancer two years ago and last year my husband was diagnosed with the same type of cancer. I understand your fears. Sometimes the only thing that you can do is pray and ask for God to give you peace. I know it's hard to let go of it, but we don't have control of it anyways. Good luck and God bless you and your family. Oh, and by the way I really feel for your mom. You said she's making the decisions, I have been in those shoes too. And she'll probably always second guess her decisions, so remind her that she's human and help her all you can.
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